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Hilarious Odyssey Through Hoops, Hurdles, and Horseplay

By: Storm Again   March 14 , 2024
   

So, you want to become a member of the Bangalore Turf Club, huh? Buckle up for a ride wilder than a racehorse on espresso! First off, if you ain`t born into one of those fancy-schmancy families already in the club, get ready for a quest that makes Frodo`s journey to Mordor look like a walk in the park.

You`ll need to scale mountains of hurdles, endure enough humiliation to make a reality TV star blush, and beg for votes like a politician during election season. Oh, and don`t forget to butter up some existing members with gifts, whether it`s booze or cold hard cash – their preference varies, but their arrogance stays constant.

And hosting a shindig? Better have the right snacks from the right hotels, or you`ll be out on your derrière faster than you can say "canapé catastrophe." Then comes the grand finale – the interview. They`ll grill you like a barbecue, questioning whether you`re a legit horse owner or just a front for some shadowy figure. Meanwhile, half of them are probably more two-faced than a coin with a personality disorder.

And don`t even get me started on the exclusivity nonsense. Only 350 slots, filled up faster than a buffet line at a weight loss convention. But here`s the kicker – you don`t just pay your way in like a normal club; you gotta wait for someone to kick the bucket, and then hope the general body votes you in like some sort of popularity contest.

But hey, despite all the hoops you gotta jump through, people still line up for this membership like it`s the holy grail of social status. It`s like trying to get into Hogwarts but with more horse racing and less magic.

And according to some high-ranking government official, it`s so uptight you can`t even bring your bros for a chill evening hangout. Talk about a party pooper! So, yeah, the Bangalore Turf Club – where the grass might be green, but the membership process is anything but smooth.

Ah, trying to crack the code and become a member of the Bangalore Turf Club, are we? Well, you better be prepared to perform miracles akin to bringing water from heaven in these parched times, because convincing those exclusive club members to let you in is like trying to negotiate with a herd of stubborn mules!

You`ll find yourself bending over backwards to please these eternal grumblers, promising votes left and right, only to end up at the bottom of the barrel come election results day, feeling like you`ve just been served a dish of humiliation with a side of ridicule.

And don`t even get me started on the drama of race favourites facing pressure like they`re carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. It`s like they`ve got a whole army of people just waiting to trip them up at every turn. The intrigue of the voting day? It`s like a soap opera on steroids, with last-minute vote swaps happening faster than you can say "photo finish."

Surviving the chaos means dodging disruptors left and right, those sneaky folks whose full-time job seems to be writing anonymous letters to drag you down.

"Ah, if you`re lucky enough to be born into the inner circle of Bangalore Turf Club`s elite, consider yourself on Easy Street! Just cruise through, nodding politely to every member for a vote, and voila! Smooth sailing till the votes are counted!"

Now, in regular elections, politicians hope to buy votes with promises of goodies for the voters. But in BTC elections? Forget about it! You can`t count on anything being certain. But one thing you can bank on is this: once those lucky few become members, they`re like chameleons, blending right in with the existing club culture faster than you can say "jockey`s cap."



 
 
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Total Comments : 2
Posted by Jai on ( March 14 , 2024 )
The BTC members elections for eight posts will be held on Monday, March 25. There are 14 candidates for eight posts. The members` children will win most of it. The parties are going on in full swing. Some of the candidates are spending more than Rs 20 lakhs. The club could have taken that money and given membership to these people to at least raise some precious money in these difficult times.
 
Posted by Murari on ( March 14 , 2024 )
Very droll. And so true. :-)
I`ve attended a few of the parties, as an invitee rather than a combatant.
One in particular still sticks in my mind. A former Chairman was holding a very small Drinks and Dinner Party at his home for his son (who did indeed get elected first time).
Another guest was the well known late Kannada Phillum "Rebel Shtar" Ambarish (a Member himself), who was giving the young man tips on Campaign strategy and what he should say in his Election blurb.
My limited Kannada may misquote somewhat, but he said something like: "Sumney London Gindun mathaadbeda, Shtarting Gate-oo minush pipty meters aagathey".
I burst out laughing. Whereaupon he put on an amused Muhammad Ali look and exclaimed "Minush Pipty! Minush Pipty!!"
Chalk and Cheese, but I liked him very much, and enjoyed our amusing banter whenever we met. A loveable "Rough Diamond".
 
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